The fantasy

To my surprise, this summer has been one of the best I can ever remember. Before I quit the wine I always used to fantasize about summer in such an unrealistic light. I pictured my husband and I sipping wine outside amongst the flowers, eating gourmet food, and finishing the evening with candles and romance. IN REALITY: drinking summers would consist of me trying to sneak in as much alcohol as possible (without causing a fight), inevitably arguing with my husband, eating anything and everything that was in sight regardless of whether I liked it or not, and passing out at an outrageously early hour with zero romance involved. I find it so easy to get swept up in the fantasy but its very grounding to reminisce how life truly was when I was drinking, instead of the bullshit dream. My husband and I have always had a great relationship; we have only been married for 2 years but have been together for nearly 10, since high school and we have grown together as the years went on. I didn’t think our relationship could get any better… until I quit drinking. Of course we bicker as all couples do but overall our marriage has gotten so much stronger. Drinking was a huge wedge in our relationship that I always had blinders to. My husband has said numerous times how proud of me he is and how much closer he feels to me since I have made the bold decision to never drink again. He has taken the journey with me and not had a drop of alcohol since I quit even though he isn’t an alcoholic. To me… there is nothing more romantic.

Last year if you asked me what a sober summer would look like I would have told you boring, stupid, a waste of time, weird, no fun. Today however I am proud to say that a summer without alcohol is AMAZING! It has felt like such a long summer (in a good way!), I have been truly present in every moment, I remember all the evenings spent eating ice cream and walking in the warm air, I remember my birthday and anniversary with no “blank” spaces, and I have woken up early every weekend to enjoy the long summer days with no hangover! There have been struggles and moments of me wanting to be ‘normal’ again, but all in all I am so very proud of myself and what I have accomplished this summer! Thank you to all of your beautiful words of inspiration. I know I do not post often but I do read daily!

Shine on my sober friends ☺!
Xo

3 thoughts on “The fantasy

  1. Findingmyfreedom says:

    What a lovely post! Yes, that bullshit dream haunted me a lot when I was drinking. It’s so good to be free of it and to accept what is and to love it. I’m really glad that you had a great summer. Your husband sounds fabulous, what happy days 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rivieradinah says:

    I love this. It’s so true…once we take the wine goggles off life becomes crystal clear. I’m happy you can see such a beautiful difference in your life. And I agree, there is nothing more romantic than what your husband has done to support you. Bravo!

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